What Is the “Family Alchemy” Package?

[Веретенников Сергей]

You will understand the lion’s share of what relationships are about simply by realizing that a woman is the Moon, while a man is the Sun.

You literally won’t even need to see a psychologist if you understand just this.

And really, what is there to understand?

It can be put very briefly: a woman is the Moon, while a man is the Sun.

I managed to fit it into even less than one sentence

Now just go and read about what the Moon is and what the Sun is.

And you will know everything about relationships between men and women.

It would be best to read about it in astrological sources.

But astronomical ones will do as well.

The essence is simple:

A woman needs a man’s light.​

​

And a man needs a woman’s darkness.​

You can understand this right now, immediately. Or you can spend your whole life trying to understand it.

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<div class="bbWrapper">You will understand the lion’s share of what relationships are about simply by realizing that a woman is the Moon, while a man is the Sun.<br /> <br /> You literally won’t even need to see a psychologist if you understand just this.<br /> <br /> And really, what is there to understand?<br /> <br /> It can be put very briefly: a woman is the Moon, while a man is the Sun.<br /> <br /> I managed to fit it into even less than one sentence <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /><br /> <br /> Now just go and read about what the Moon is and what the Sun is.<br /> <br /> And you will know everything about relationships between men and women.<br /> <br /> It would be best to read about it in astrological sources.<br /> <br /> But astronomical ones will do as well.<br /> <br /> <b><span style="font-size: 22px">The essence is simple:</span></b><br /> <br /> <div style="margin-left: 20px">A woman needs a man’s light.​</div><div style="margin-left: 20px">​</div><div style="margin-left: 20px">And a man needs a woman’s darkness.​</div><br /> You can understand this right now, immediately. Or you can spend your whole life trying to understand it.</div>

 

[Веретенников Сергей]

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<div class="bbWrapper"><span data-s9e-mediaembed="youtube"><span><span style="background:url(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DCS3nldo_8A/hqdefault.jpg) 50% 50% / cover" data-s9e-mediaembed-iframe='["allowfullscreen","","scrolling","no","style","background:url(https:\/\/i.ytimg.com\/vi\/DCS3nldo_8A\/hqdefault.jpg) 50% 50% \/ cover","src","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/DCS3nldo_8A"]'></span></span></span></div>

 

[Веретенников Сергей]

How should you use a family psychologist, anyway?

I’m not talking only about myself here, but about your relationship with a psychologist in general.

Many people have strange expectations of psychologists in general—which is why they get zero results.

What should you expect from them, anyway?

It is completely pointless to go to a family psychologist with the goal of changing your partner.

If that is your goal, don’t waste your time, money, or energy.

You won’t change anyone.

If anything can change, it can only happen together.

The psychologist’s main task is to help you hear each other.

To translate what the other person is saying into your language, because before that, most likely, you were hearing only yourself. Or perhaps you have some kind of translator inside you that perceives everything said by the other person as a foreign language requiring your translation.

For example, he says, “Darling, I won’t be able to go to the movies with you today.”
She translates it as, “He doesn’t love me anymore”....

People don’t hear each other. That’s a fact.

People also don’t understand where they have ended up in the first place!

For example, in my course: Description of all paid School courses—I present family models.

And people understand which models they and their partner are living in.

Here’s an example:

One man loves adventurous vacations.
One woman loves vacations in the Maldives, where the greatest adventure is going to get another glass of a chilled drink.

And then they meet and suddenly find themselves vacationing in Kamchatka.

The woman will naturally complain constantly, and they will quarrel and split up.

But if they suddenly find themselves in Tahiti, the man will be the one complaining.

And it will end badly too.

There are women from patriarchal families. There are men from matriarchal families.

All of this leads to endless conflicts.

UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THIS.

I provide understanding.

Where these conflicts come from. Which models you are living in.

I literally developed a test for this.

When you see this, you understand where the arguments come from.

When your models match, that’s very good.

When they don’t, you can see the pitfalls and how to avoid them.

But even when they match, conflicts can still arise.

At least then they are not rooted in the models themselves, but in basic psychological illiteracy.

Just go to a psychologist and have a conversation.

They will take you from the state of “I know everything myself” to the state of “There’s something to think about here.”

🔊 Listen ⏹ Stop 🌐 Choose language

<div class="bbWrapper"><b>How should you use a family psychologist, anyway?</b><br /> <br /> I’m not talking only about myself here, but about your relationship with a psychologist in general.<br /> <br /> Many people have strange expectations of psychologists in general—which is why they get zero results.<br /> <br /> <b>What should you expect from them, anyway?</b><br /> <br /> It is completely pointless to go to a family psychologist with the goal of changing your partner.<br /> <br /> If that is your goal, don’t waste your time, money, or energy.<br /> <br /> You won’t change anyone.<br /> <br /> If anything can change, it can only happen together.<br /> <br /> The psychologist’s main task is to help you hear each other.<br /> <br /> To translate what the other person is saying into your language, because before that, most likely, you were hearing only yourself. Or perhaps you have some kind of translator inside you that perceives everything said by the other person as a foreign language requiring your translation.<br /> <br /> For example, he says, “Darling, I won’t be able to go to the movies with you today.”<br /> She translates it as, “He doesn’t love me anymore”....<br /> <br /> People don’t hear each other. That’s a fact.<br /> <br /> People also don’t understand where they have ended up in the first place!<br /> <br /> For example, in my course: <a href="https://www.youryoga.ru/school/en/threads/opisanie-vsex-platnyx-kursov-shkoly.36/#otnos1" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow noopener">Description of all paid School courses</a>—I present family models.<br /> <br /> And people understand which models they and their partner are living in.<br /> <br /> <b>Here’s an example:</b><br /> <br /> One man loves adventurous vacations.<br /> One woman loves vacations in the Maldives, where the greatest adventure is going to get another glass of a chilled drink.<br /> <br /> And then they meet and suddenly find themselves vacationing in Kamchatka.<br /> <br /> The woman will naturally complain constantly, and they will quarrel and split up.<br /> <br /> But if they suddenly find themselves in Tahiti, the man will be the one complaining.<br /> <br /> And it will end badly too.<br /> <br /> There are women from patriarchal families. There are men from matriarchal families.<br /> <br /> All of this leads to endless conflicts.<br /> <br /> UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THIS.<br /> <br /> I provide understanding.<br /> <br /> Where these conflicts come from. Which models you are living in.<br /> <br /> I literally developed a test for this.<br /> <br /> When you see this, you understand where the arguments come from.<br /> <br /> When your models match, that’s very good.<br /> <br /> When they don’t, you can see the pitfalls and how to avoid them.<br /> <br /> But even when they match, conflicts can still arise.<br /> <br /> At least then they are not rooted in the models themselves, but in basic psychological illiteracy.<br /> <br /> Just go to a psychologist and have a conversation.<br /> <br /> They will take you from the state of “I know everything myself” to the state of “There’s something to think about here.”</div>

 

[Веретенников Сергей]

There is a point of view that there is no point in entering into a new relationship if you have not changed.
That is, if you do not change, then in your next relationship everything will again become the way it was in the previous one.
You attract a similar partner, and everything you were running from will start all over again with them...

This is all true.

But I want to tell you something even deeper.

It is better not to use the word “change.”

Instead, use the phrase “become yourself.”

In other words, you are the one who is changed right now!

As you know, I am a certified holotropic breathwork sitter.
I studied this at the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis, including in person.

So, Grof even stopped using the term “altered states of consciousness.” I did not look into it particularly deeply, but it is somehow connected with the English language, and there it is somehow related to the selection of horned cattle...
In general, it is not very romantic )))
And it referred to DISTORTION. In other words, it essentially sounded like: a distorted state of consciousness.

Over time, Stanislav Grof moved away from the term
“altered states of consciousness” (altered states of consciousness) — because the word “altered” seemed to suggest pathology or deviation from the “norm.”

That is why he replaced “altered” with “unusual / extraordinary states of consciousness.”

Do you understand me?

It seems to you that you are CHANGING in the right direction.

But you can change in the right direction only in one direction — toward your true self.

But that is not changing!

It is returning to your original state.

If you have not come to yourself, then there is no point in changing either.

What is the point if you were white and became black?

What has changed?

If your true color is green.

Yes, you have changed, but there is no benefit in it.

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<div class="bbWrapper">There is a point of view that there is no point in entering into a new relationship if you have not changed.<br /> That is, if you do not change, then in your next relationship everything will again become the way it was in the previous one.<br /> You attract a similar partner, and everything you were running from will start all over again with them...<br /> <br /> This is all true.<br /> <br /> But I want to tell you something even deeper.<br /> <br /> It is better not to use the word “change.”<br /> <br /> Instead, use the phrase “become yourself.”<br /> <br /> In other words, you are the one who is changed right now!<br /> <br /> As you know, I am a certified holotropic breathwork sitter.<br /> I studied this at the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis, including in person.<br /> <br /> So, Grof even stopped using the term “altered states of consciousness.” I did not look into it particularly deeply, but it is somehow connected with the English language, and there it is somehow related to the selection of horned cattle...<br /> In general, it is not very romantic )))<br /> And it referred to DISTORTION. In other words, it essentially sounded like: a distorted state of consciousness.<br /> <br /> Over time, Stanislav Grof <b>moved away from the term<br /> “altered states of consciousness” (altered states of consciousness)</b> — because the word <i>“altered”</i> seemed to suggest pathology or deviation from the “norm.”<br /> <br /> That is why he replaced “altered” with “unusual / extraordinary states of consciousness.”<br /> <br /> Do you understand me?<br /> <br /> It seems to you that you are CHANGING in the right direction.<br /> <br /> But you can change in the right direction only in one direction — toward your true self.<br /> <br /> But that is not changing!<br /> <br /> It is returning to your original state.<br /> <br /> If you have not come to yourself, then there is no point in changing either.<br /> <br /> What is the point if you were white and became black?<br /> <br /> What has changed?<br /> <br /> If your true color is green.<br /> <br /> Yes, you have changed, but there is no benefit in it.</div>

 

[Веретенников Сергей]

Continuing the post above, I will say that yes, you need to change, but toward your unchanged self.

And I did not mention Grof's arguments about the word "changed" for no reason. It has a sad meaning: it signifies moving away from YOURSELF, from something that was always right.

In other words: By changing in any direction away from YOURSELF, you are not changing at all.

You must become yourself, and your partner must become themselves; then there will be no point in changing partners.

On the one hand, living with a person who has become themselves is both difficult and easy.

You have probably seen many films about this. For example, at my Ashram I often share links to meaningful films.

Where some man or woman meets a FREE, ALIVE person...

They are interesting to be with, and so on.

Everyone somehow dreams of finding someone like that—in films, in your romantic novels...

But as soon as they get married, they try to enslave them—to make them different and convenient...

To change them.

But in this case, you need to move toward yourself, while they merely show you the way.

Love is the meeting of two living and free people.

Not changed people.

For example, by previous marriages.

Previous relationships do not make you wiser if you change—if you adapt...

For example:

1. My previous husband used to leave his socks lying around, and I nagged him about it—which created tension. In my new marriage, of course, I won't do that; I will change.
2. I did not give my previous wife enough attention, so she gained weight because she replaced affection with food—I will change in my next relationship and be more affectionate.

All of THIS is nonsense!

It will not help.

As long as this is how you plan to change, nothing will change.

Discussion topic: Relationships

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<div class="bbWrapper">Continuing the post above, I will say that yes, you need to change, but toward your unchanged self.<br /> <br /> And I did not mention Grof's arguments about the word "changed" for no reason. It has a sad meaning: it signifies moving away from YOURSELF, from something that was always right.<br /> <br /> In other words: By changing in any direction away from YOURSELF, you are not changing at all.<br /> <br /> You must become yourself, and your partner must become themselves; then there will be no point in changing partners.<br /> <br /> On the one hand, living with a person who has become themselves is both difficult and easy.<br /> <br /> You have probably seen many films about this. For example, at my Ashram I often share links to meaningful films.<br /> <br /> Where some man or woman meets a FREE, ALIVE person...<br /> <br /> They are interesting to be with, and so on.<br /> <br /> Everyone somehow dreams of finding someone like that—in films, in your romantic novels...<br /> <br /> But as soon as they get married, they try to enslave them—to make them different and convenient...<br /> <br /> To change them.<br /> <br /> But in this case, you need to move toward yourself, while they merely show you the way.<br /> <br /> Love is the meeting of two living and free people.<br /> <br /> Not changed people.<br /> <br /> For example, by previous marriages.<br /> <br /> Previous relationships do not make you wiser if you change—if you adapt...<br /> <br /> <b>For example: </b><br /> <br /> <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">My previous husband used to leave his socks lying around, and I nagged him about it—which created tension. In my new marriage, of course, I won't do that; I will change.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">I did not give my previous wife enough attention, so she gained weight because she replaced affection with food—I will change in my next relationship and be more affectionate.</li> </ol>All of THIS is nonsense!<br /> <br /> It will not help.<br /> <br /> As long as this is how you plan to change, nothing will change.<br /> <br /> Discussion topic: <a href="https://www.youryoga.ru/school/en/threads/otnoshenija.3067/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow noopener">Relationships</a></div>

 

[Веретенников Сергей]

You are currently in the thread for my “Family Alchemy” course, which has already been purchased by people who want happiness in their personal lives

And today I want to talk about statistics. That is why my new article in this section is called:

Plus or Minus 45​

Why this title?

Because statistics say that when one of the spouses reaches approximately 45, they start seriously thinking about leaving the family.

So, you’ve been living like this for, say, 15–20 years, everything is fine, you have children, everything is normal, you don’t argue, things are smooth, there isn’t a cloud on the horizon—and then they tell you: “That’s it, I’m leaving. I’ve had enough!”...

And you’re in shock!

How?

Why?

What for?

You should be prepared for the fact that when your partner reaches approximately 39–50, they may want a change.

They may feel that they’re missing out on everything by being with you and need to make up for lost time...

That’s why you hear: “Goodbye, stay in your little Klopyansk, while I go look for happiness with someone who will take me to Paris and London—the things I’ve long deserved...”; “I’m sick of everything—your meat patties and dumplings won’t save me from this either”....

But after wandering around and having their adventures with exes or someone else for about a year, they’ll want to come back...

Not all of them.

But most.

And you’re unlikely to forgive them.

And the funniest thing is that no one is to blame in this story.

In Vedic culture, they say that there is only one evil on Planet Earth: ignorance.

So blame ignorance.

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<div class="bbWrapper">You are currently in the thread for my “Family Alchemy” course, which has already been purchased by people who want happiness in their personal lives <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /><br /> <br /> And today I want to talk about statistics. That is why my new article in this section is called:<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: center"><b><span style="font-size: 26px">Plus or Minus 45</span></b>​</div><br /> Why this title?<br /> <br /> Because statistics say that when one of the spouses reaches approximately 45, they start seriously thinking about leaving the family.<br /> <br /> So, you’ve been living like this for, say, 15–20 years, everything is fine, you have children, everything is normal, you don’t argue, things are smooth, there isn’t a cloud on the horizon—and then they tell you: “That’s it, I’m leaving. I’ve had enough!”...<br /> <br /> And you’re in shock!<br /> <br /> How?<br /> <br /> Why?<br /> <br /> What for?<br /> <br /> You should be prepared for the fact that when your partner reaches approximately 39–50, they may want a change.<br /> <br /> They may feel that they’re missing out on everything by being with you and need to make up for lost time...<br /> <br /> That’s why you hear: “Goodbye, stay in your little Klopyansk, while I go look for happiness with someone who will take me to Paris and London—the things I’ve long deserved...”; “I’m sick of everything—your meat patties and dumplings won’t save me from this either”....<br /> <br /> But after wandering around and having their adventures with exes or someone else for about a year, they’ll want to come back...<br /> <br /> Not all of them.<br /> <br /> But most.<br /> <br /> And you’re unlikely to forgive them.<br /> <br /> And the funniest thing is that no one is to blame in this story.<br /> <br /> In Vedic culture, they say that there is only one evil on Planet Earth: ignorance.<br /> <br /> So blame ignorance. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-shortname=";)" /></div>